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All About The Toxic Energy of Judgment

I recently remarked to a client that judging people can really cause problems, and he replied, "Well, it's what humans do." He's right in the sense that our judgments of people and situations are so pervasive that most of us rarely see ourselves as judgmental. "He's kind of weird – thank God I'm not like that."

Here's the bottom line: As long as we choose to judge what other people say or do or look like, we will remain separate from the very quality of life we seek. How can that be? Because on the deepest level – the level of Spirit – we are all one, so when we pass judgment on someone we can't escape pointing the finger at ourselves. My inability to accept your habit of showing up late is really about my own beliefs in that area. It's a safe bet that I cannot accept either my own tardiness or something else with which my mind connects it in its personal filing system. You have merely "pushed my button" by reminding me of an issue I projected onto you because I have not yet owned it.

We tend to get stuck over and over again, since the degree to which we see ourselves either negatively or positively is the greatest single factor in how well we navigate life situations. The inability to accept in ourselves our own "darker side" predicts a future in which judgment rather than openness to new and different possibilities rules.

In other words, each time I judge others, my ability to see clearly is compromised. When I continually sit in judgment on myself I may become so identified with that clouded picture of who I am that it may require a life-altering experience to release me from my illusion.

Seen from another angle, the energy of judgment is that of contraction, while accepting and allowing carry the expansive energy of the heart. I am the one who will suffer in terms of my sense of well-being every time I choose to label someone (or something) in a negative way. Judgment is a boomerang that can't be ducked. Eventually we may even pay for our contracting choices with our health. We may also pass right by someone who may otherwise have been a loving match for us. There is a moving scene in the film "Home for the Holidays" in which the main character's sister tells her off in an especially cruel and denigrating way. The object of her derision realizes there is no more to be said and leaves. We see this sister, who had been walking on a treadmill, try to return to her workout, but she breaks down and sobs instead. We are the ones who carry the burden of our judgments, and they can make us feel "sick at heart" without realizing why.