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How To Create What You Want: The Basics

Q: How do I begin to create what I want in life?

A: By 1) seeing it clearly 2) enlisting the help of your inner guidance system and 3) taking action.

Q: I've tried to follow these three steps but get stuck each time on number two. Please help.

A: You are certainly not alone. This process can easily break down at the point of utilizing our inner guidance system. Why? There are a few reasons -- the most common being that we would rather go with the direction we receive from our ego mind even when we know in our gut it isn't the healthiest choice. It seems easier and we don't trust our hunches.

"You have to do all your homework, but then you have to go with your intuition without letting your mind get in the way." – Ed McCracken, former CEO, Silicon Graphics

There is little or no risk involved in following our ego's "wants" because it will always urge us to play it safe, to not challenge any of our beliefs, even if some of them are leftovers from childhood that haven't served us well for decades. The drawback in letting only our ego guide us is that even when a choice seems obvious we may still be lacking necessary data -- data that can only be accessed intuitively.

Here's an example: I once dated a very handsome man for a couple of months. I was a lonely divorcèe and this seemed so right. For a while I was able to find excuses for the fact that I would come home and cry after seeing him. I tried to cram and twist the situation to fit my neediness, and that necessitated ignoring the intuitive guidance I was receiving in the form of tears.

The messages from our gut aren't always that extreme. How to hear them, then? We often need to set a few minutes aside just for that purpose. Getting quiet and sitting with our thoughts or taking a walk when our day is pulling us in five directions can seem too low a priority, even impractical. Quite the opposite is true. Establish an inner connection and you are stating to your spirit, "I honor you. Please guide me in this situation because I don't know what is best and I understand that you do." Eventually we see that we are actually saving ourselves tremendous amounts of time, energy, and suffering by simply focusing our mind inward and allowing ourselves to hear and follow our inner wisdom.

Whether we hear it, feel it or have a sudden "Aha!" experience, the most efficient path to creating what we want is the inner path.

Q: How can I deal with the fear that comes up when I do listen to my gut instinct and choose to follow it? I need to make some changes that I've really known about for some time, but it scares me to actually do it.

A: "Safe" almost always looks better than "new" if we scrutinize our fears too closely. The only way to build the life we really want is to acknowledge the fears: "Ah, yes, there you are again." Accept their presence, but choose to FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT INSTEAD. Even if that means doing so fifty times a day for a year.

Q: How can this work? It sounds like a mental exercise. Shouldn't I be out there making it happen?

A: You will also need to act, but the underlying mechanism is this: Whatever we focus on becomes real. Whatever we turn our focus away from falls away eventually. (Think of how much more painful that stubbed toe is when you keep focusing on it)

This is a central truth; it informs everything we wish to create in our lives, from losing weight to becoming the president of our own company. YOU are the center. YOU are the creator in a concrete way of your life. Seen from another angle, what we really do is move what our spirit has already created in its reality from inner wish to outer action. We do this by defining it clearly, focusing on it, and allowing it to enter our physical reality.

Learning to do this more efficiently and compassionately is the core purpose of the collective human experience. And there is no better way to manifest your heart's desires than showing compassion for yourself every time you feel you've "screwed up". Why? Because focusing on the "screwed-up-ness" will only create more of the same. Shifting your focus to what you desire every time you notice you're still stuck on your screw-up clears the way for new experience to enter.